Movie Review: I Sell The Dead

I Sell The Dead

Rating:  

Written and Directed By: Glenn McQuaid

Starring: Dominic Monaghan, Ron Perlman, Larry Fessenden

Plot:

19th century justice has finally caught up to grave robbers Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan) and Willie Grimes (Larry Fessenden). With the specter of the guillotine looming over him, young Blake confides in visiting clergyman Father Duffy (Ron Perlman), recounting fifteen years of adventure in the resurrection trade. His tale leads from humble beginnings as a young boy stealing trinkets from corpses, to a partnership with seasoned ghoul Willie Grimes as they hunt creatures unwilling to accept their place in the ground. The colorful and peculiar history of Grimes and Blake is one filled with adventure, horror, and vicious rivalries that threaten to put all involved in the very graves they’re trying to pilfer.

Review:

The Horror/Comedy is a tough sell.  Most of the time, they end up stupid and unmemorable.  Occasionally a few gems appear such as Gremlins, Arachnophobia, and most recently Zombieland.  Arriving straight to DVD, though is another Comedic take on Horror with a Gothic twist, Glenn McQuaid‘s criminally underseen I Sell The Dead starring Dominic Monaghan.  With a clever balance of the comedic and macabre, strong acting, believable sets and costumes, and brilliant cinematography, I Sell The Dead is a gem worthy to be discovered.

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Movie Review: The Brothers Bloom

The Brothers Bloom

Rating:  

Directed By: Rian Johnson

Starring: Adrien Brody, Mark Ruffalo, Rachel Weisz, Rinko Kikuchi

Plot:

All their lives, brothers Stephen (Mark Ruffalo) and Bloom (Adrien Brody) have perfected the fine art of the con.  Now they’re ready for one last spectacular score – luring Penelope (Rachel Weisz), an eccentric heiress, into an elaborate scheme that takes them around the world.

Review:

While “cookie cutter” stories are littering Hollywood and the current box office, many original and memorable movies are being tossed into minimal theatrical releases and horribly thought out DVD/Blu Ray releases.  Case in point: if you want to own the wonderfully original and quirky film The Brothers Bloom, you’ll have to either steal it from a local video rental establishment (not recommended!), or buy it from our Canadian neighbors (I chose the latter).  Or, just wait until January for the U. S. release and rent it numerous times until then.  Either way, The Brothers Bloom is a film that needs to be seen.

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Movie Review: All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

Rating:  

Directed By: Jonathan Levine

Starring: Amber Heard, Whitney Able, Michael Welch, Anson Mount, Aaron Himelstein

Plot:

Mandy Lane (Amber Heard) is an unattainable object of adolescent lust for all the boys in her highs school.  Invited on a weeked away to a remote ranch, shy Mandy sees it as a chance to cement some newly formed friendships.  The boys see it as a chance to finally get with Mandy.  As night falls, joints are rolled, kegs are drunk and pills are popped, with Mandy maintaining a polite distance from all the debauchery.  She things the drunken “come-ons” will be the worst of it, but she is horrifyingly mistaken.  As events take a turn for the worse, it becomes clear that a secret admirer is harbouring some terrifying ulterior motives.

Review:

Originally released in 2006 at the Toronto Film Festival, winner of the Audience Award at Sundance Film Festival in 2008 and managed horribly by The Weinstein Company and sold to Senator Entertainment, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is STILL unavailable to American Audiences.  It’s a shame, because this small and clever slasher flick starring Amber Heard deserves to be seen.  Luckily, Optimum Releasing has the distribution rights in the UK and have offered us a Region Free Blu-Ray release of the film.  All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is a clever, small budget slasher with some great performances in it.

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Movie Review: Where the Wild Things Are

Where the Wild Things Are

Rating:  

Directed By: Spike Jonze

Starring: Max Records, Forest Whitaker, Catherine O’Hara, James Gandolfini, Chris Cooper, Catherine Keener

Plot:

An adaptation of Maurice Sendak’s classic children’s story, where Max, a disobedient little boy sent to bed without his supper, creates his own world–a forest inhabited by ferocious wild creatures that crown Max as their ruler. [IMDB]

Pre-Review Editorial:

I read an actual review of Spike Jonze’s Where the Wild Things Are that stated the following:

Authentic though it may be, this movie will appeal to douchey hipsters. If you are upper-middle-class, liked I Heart Huckabees, have Buddy Holly glasses, listen to rap ironically, and/or believe yourself to be an undiscovered genius or otherwise tortured and unique person, this is right in your wheelhouse for Movie of the Year. [Film School Rejects]

Now, let me put on my horn rimmed glasses and get on with my douchy hipster review of Where the Wild Things Are.

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Movie Review: Observe and Report

Observe and Report

Rating:  

Directed By: Jody Hill

Starring: Seth Rogen, Ray Liotta, Michael Peña, Michael Peña, Anna Faris, Dan Bakkedahl, John Yuan, Matt Yuan, Celia Weston, Collette Wolfe

Plot Synopsis:

At the Forest Ridge Mall, head of security Ronnie Barnhardt (Seth Rogen) patrols his jurisdiction with an iron fist. The master of his domain, he combats skateboarders, shoplifters and the occasional unruly customer while dreaming of the day when he can swap his flashlight for a badge and a gun.Ronnie’s delusions of grandeur are put to the test when the mall is struck by a flasher. Driven by his personal duty to protect and serve the mall and its patrons, Ronnie seizes the opportunity to showcase his underappreciated law enforcement talents on a grand scale, hoping his solution of this crime will earn him a coveted spot at the police academy and the heart of his elusive dream girl Brandi (ANNA FARIS), the hot make-up counter clerk who won’t give him the time of day. But his single-minded pursuit of glory launches a turf war with the equally competitive Detective Harrison (Ray Liotta) of the Conway Police, and Ronnie is confronted with the challenge of not only catching the flasher, but getting him before the real cops. (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Review:

Seth Rogen may be played out in some people’s minds, however I love the guy and think he has plenty of steam left.  Jody Hill’s Observe and Report gives Rogen a platform to give us something different.  A hero that’s not perfect, kind of creepy and someone who makes morally compromising choices.  The description of Observe and Report as “Taxi Driver meets Paul Blart: Mall Cop” may seem a bit strange, but that’s probably the only way you could describe this strange, dark, offensive and, yes, hilarious film.

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GeekVault Reviews: Slugs

Slugs

Actual Movie:

Rating:  

So-Bad-It’s-Good-Rating:

Rating:  

Directed By: Juan Piquer Simón

Starring: Michael Garfield

Plot Synopsis:

A rural town becomes prey to a strain of Black Slugs spawned from toxic waste dumping and it’s up to the local health inspector to stop them.

Review:

I really don’t know where to start with my review of Slugs.  OK.  It’s a bad movie.  A horrible movie.  A “shit-tastic” movie.  The acting is horrible and the plot is ridiculous (they’re SLUGS! Mutant Slugs, but still they’re slow and they can be squished).  However, the precedings are so laughable and ridiculous, and the acting so bad, it’s endearing.  All this is highlighted by some of the grossest, sickest, nonsensical gore you’ll ever see in a movie.

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Movie Review: The Children

The Children

Rating:  

Directed By: Tom Shankland

Starring: Eva Birthistle, Stephen Campbell Moore, Jeremy Sheffield, Rachel Shelley, Hannah Tointon

Plot Synopsis:

You brought them into the world. They will take you out. A family anticipates a Christmas filled with sledding, laughter and hot cocoa as they head to their vacation home in the secluded backcountry…The holiday cheer takes a fast turn for the worse after a mysterious flu-like virus sweeps through the kids. One by one the children become deadly. Amidst the suspicion, mayhem and murder, the parents fight for survival against their own twisted offspring. (Ghosthouse Underground)

 Review:

When I first heard of the british horror flick, The Children, I wasn’t too fond of seeing it.  As a parent, the thought of killer kids wasn’t something I wanted to subject myself to.  However, I eventually decided to “nut up” and take a peek at this film, and I’m so glad I did.  Tom Shankland lands himself on the horror map with the near-perfect and truly scary “killer kid” flick, The Children.

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Movie Review: Trick ‘r Treat

Trick ‘r Treat

Rating:  

Directed By: Michael Dougherty

Starring: Brian Cox, Anna Paquin, Dylan Baker, Leslie Bibb, Rochelle Aytes, Tahmoh Penikett

Plot Synopsis:

It is said that Halloween is the night when the dead rise to walk among us and other unspeakable things roam free. The rituals of All Hallows Eve were devised to protect us from their evil mischief, and one small town is about to be taught a terrifying lesson that some traditions are best not forgotten.

Nothing is what it seems when a suburban couple learns the dangers of blowing out a Jack-o-Lantern before midnight; four women cross paths with a costumed stalker at a local festival; a group of pranksters goes too far and discovers the horrifying truth buried in a local legend; and a cantankerous old hermit is visited by a strange trick-or-treater with a few bones to pick. Costumes and candy, ghouls and goblins, monsters and mayhem… the tricks and treats of Halloween turn deadly as strange creatures of every variety-human and otherwise-try to survive the scariest night of the year. (Warner Bros. Pictures)

 

Review:

Huzzah! Halloween is closing in and after 3 years of waiting, Trick ‘r Treat has finally been released.  Although, it would have been nice if it had a theatrical release, I’m happy to have it in my Blu Ray player.  This is the definitive Halloween movie, destined to become traditional viewing in my house.

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Movie Review: The Hills Run Red

The Hills Run Red

Rating:  

Directed By: Dave Parker

Starring: Sophie Monk, William Sadler, Tad Hilgenbrink, Janet Montgomery,

Plot Synopsis:

When they hear there’s a complete print of their favorite slasher movie hidden in their hometown’s backwoods, a group of horror movie buffs heads out in search of the celluloid treasure. Once arriving at their destination, they discover that the carnage captured in the movie was completely real, and worse yet, the filmmakers are looking to spill more blood before they’re ready to call “cut.” (Netflix)

Review:

Since 1978′s Halloween, the Slasher flick has been going strong.  I’m actually surprised this sub-genre has continued to thrive.  With The Hills Run Red, New director Dave Parker shows us that there still is some life in this tired genre with a clever script by David J. Schow, John Dombrow and John Carchietta.  We can also welcome an awesome new masked killer to the short list with Babyface.  Yes, a dude who wears a baby mask.  Trust me, it works.

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Movie Review: Red Cliff (Chi bi)

Red Cliff

This review is for John Woo’s original 4 hour vision: Red Cliff parts 1 and 2, NOT the butchered 2 and a half hour Western release.

Rating:  

Directed By: John Woo

Starring: Tony Leung Chiu Wai, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Fengyi Zhang, Chen Chang

Plot Synopsis:

After directing stylish action films such as The Killers and Face-Off, director John Woo turns to Chinese history for inspiration with Red Cliff. The Han Dynasty is facing its death in third century China, and the emperor raises a million-man army against two kingdoms that are hopelessly outmatched. This war film stars Tony Leung, reuniting with John Woo since Hard Boiled.

Review:

John Woo can be considered a legend of Asian Cinema.  Unfortunately, his dive into Western Cinema was more of a splat.  After the awesomeness of Hard Target and the success of Face-Off, he delivered clunkers such as Windtalkers, Mission Impossible II, and Paycheck.  People wondered where the magic went.  With Red Cliff, John Woo proves that his magic lies in China.  Red Cliff is John Woo’s most ambitious and visually stunning film to date.

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