Platinum Dunes Sets Us All Up For Disappointment with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Remake

Platinum Dunes is making a name for themselves with Remakes, Reboots, Redo’s or whatever they’re called.

Platinum Dunes 8-Step Film Making Formula:

Step 1: Pay for the rights of a beloved genre property.

Step 2: Hire an unimaginative team of screenwriters.

Step 3: Hire a music video director.

Step 4: Rent/Buy the biggest fog machine possible.

Step 5: Watch Michael Bay masturbate.

Step 6: Provide a half ass, watchable, yet immediately forgettable movie.

Step 7: Watch fanboy/girls cry into their palms and then venomously bitch and moan via the internet.

Step 8: Wipe collective asses with handfuls of $100 bills.

That 8 Step Formula will be applied to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles property.  *Shrug*

[Source: Slashfilm]

Movie Review: Transformers – Revenge of the Fallen

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Rating:  

Directed By: Michael Bay

Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, John Turturro, Ramon Rodriguez

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen exists only to fuel Michael Bay‘s U. S. Military and Gigantic Explosion masturbatory fantasies.  It is an exercise in excess gone horribly wrong.  Maybe Michael Bay just wanted to create a Frat Boy Drinking Game movie, “Every time you see an explosion or cleavage, take a drink!” So, maybe he succeeded in what he set out to do.  However, Mr. Bay, I’ve cut you slack numerous times, but I would like my 2 AND A HALF HOURS of my life back.

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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is Officially the Worst Reviewed Highest Grossing Movie of all Time

Slashfilm has done the research and concluded that Michael Bay’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is the Worst-Reviewed-Highest-Grossing-Movie of all time.

So far, $600 million has been collected from masses for this mindless suck-fest.  Granted, a lot of these were pre-sold tickets and the marketing for the film was pretty damn awesome.

However, once reviews came in from critics and geeks alike….things didn’t look so good.  But, bad word of mouth hasn’t stopped this cash cow of a crappy movie.  Thanks everyone for empowering and thus inflating Michael Bay’s ego even more.

Check out the stats that Slashfilm discovered after the jump:

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Transformers 2 Worse Than Wolverine and Terminator Salvation

It’s official: X-men Origins: Wolverine is the 2nd best reviewed Blockbuster of the Summer (behind Star Trek, of course).

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is getting a BEATING by almost everyone who’s seen it.  Both critics and fanboys alike would love to crucify Michael Bay.  It is currently resting at 20% on Rottentomatoes.com, as compared to 2007′s Transformers which settled at 57%.

Head over to Rotten Tomatoes to read all the reviews.  I’m actually surprised that it’s being hated on so much.  The effects look amazing, however it looks like Michael Bay’s horrible sense of humor and bloated running time ruin the proceedings.

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LOL! Transforminators: A McG/Michael Bay Film

What if Michael Bay and McG got their man-love on and gave birth to a new movie? We’d have Transforminators!

Here’s a pretty genius mash up between the Transformers 2 Trailer and the Terminator: Salvation trailer.

[Source: Slashfilm]

Michael Bay Posts 2 New Pictures of . . . Himself.

Michael Bay has posted 2 new pictures of Michael Bay on www.michaelbay.com.  Just thought that was amusing.  No new photos of robots or special effects.  Instead he’s giving us pictures of himself.  You gotta love the Michael Bay ego.

Hasbro Gives Us Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Desktop Wallpapers

Hasbro has released some cool character wallpapers for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. These are for all you geeks to like show show off your geekiness at work (ahem, myself included).  Check them out and head over to the Hasbro website for 3 quality options.

Check out all the wallpapers after the jump.

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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Stills From Trailer #2

The fellas over at GeekTyrant poured over the new Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen trailer and compiled some amazing images.

Enjoy after the jump!

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Movie Trailer: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Trailer #2)

What’s that G. I. Joe? You released an international trailer? Amateurs.

Here’s the new trailer for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

Linkin Park to Contribute to Transformers 2 Score

Linkin Park have confirmed that they are contributing to the score of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. They have been working with Steve Jablonsky (credited for scoring Transformers 1 & 2), who is part of Hans Zimmer’s production company, Remote Control Productions.

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